My Blog

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In
your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you
shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s
the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost
your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time
partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can
actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has
to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being
ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond
the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through
it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work.
Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply
because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person
you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little
things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re
ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle
down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the
brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll
work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work.
And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally
making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person.
Things are different, your approach is different, you finally
understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready
because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling
when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here
today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am
and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If
you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that
got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your
marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re
mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re
with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will
just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe
the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case
it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But
if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if
it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very
existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder,
what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a
movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If
the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow.
And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to
someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

When I was still young, I together with my sisters n cousins usually perform in our family reunion, that is every Christmas and new year.  My mom would always say that she would want to hear me sing than to see me dance.  Cause those were the years where I have 2 left feet…trying hard to dance.  Because I was boyish in my grade school years.  Actually, I got tired of singing every year cause I was the only one left in our generation to perform (until now). Though I really love to sing that I had my best voice coach Mr. Ed Mangiat (I will never forget him, he’s the best. He’s the conductor of UP Singing Ambassadors).  Well anyway, as years go by, I had my 13Th birthday when I first heard my mom talking about ballroom dancing.  At first I didn’t like the sound of it.  I told myself that "Ummm, mom those are for old people..hello…" but my mom was so excited that she actually brought us (me, my 2 sisters, 1st cousins and titas) at In The Mood in Malate.  Of course I also felt excited cause for the first time in my life, I’m going to spend some time with my mom and supporting her in her newly found interest…dancing.  When we arrived there, I felt awkward cause all of the people were looking at us.  Who wouldn’t"t?  Imagine a big crowd who occupied 6 tables with only 5 teenagers and walking in a room full of people ages between 30S - 70S…ahahahaha…it was really weird and awkward that time.  Then song after song, one by one an instructor came over and offered us to dance.  Timing the beat of the music was Reggae…I really felt ashamed cause I was off beat, knowing that I have 2 left feet and have the feeling that everybody’s looking at me and all…so, I gave up that fast and walk straight to my seat.  I saw a couple of instructors danced and was amazed by their movement for they move so gracefully yet so powerful without giving much effort, its like they’re dancing on air, envying them with a sigh wishing I could be like them.  Then Ron (my very 1st instructor) approached me and told me "sa umpisa talagang ganyan, feeling mo mukha kang ewan, wag mo lang intindihin ang iisipin ng ibang tao, matututo ka agad atpractice makes perfect diba." Then he eventually convinced me to dance again…and slowly, I started liking it.  Then, the next day we kept on talking and talking to our dad, telling him that we really had a great night and that we love to go again with our mom.  Permission granted…so, we had it scheduled…we go there every Fridays and Saturdays… until sometime that I got the beat and the steps right that we decided to go at Malate every Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, til we also had our Sunday scheduled occupied for dancing.  Years had passed, my sisters got tired of dancing and had other stuffs in mind.  I on the other hand was still into it…My mom would bring me to clubs after clubs showing me off with her friends, and proudly telling them that she couldn’t believe I would end up dancing beautifully and gracefully knowing that I have 2 left feet and how stiff my body was before.  Then the time came that, her friends decided to let me join an inter-ballroom competition.  They gave me a dancing partner.  There I learned a lot more kind of dances like the cha-cha-cha, jive, quick step, samba and lastly the rumba (the hardest of all dances, but loved it).  When we were practicing the rumba with our coach, they were having the hardest time teaching me because I felt awkward, because this dance must show some closeness and feelings and emotion towards your partner…that’s why they call it the DANCE of LOVE…and that time my partner was a man (common sense n lng /heh)…anyway, our competition came and we ended up in 2ND place (our coach knew some of the judges, and they told her the reason y I got 2ND place because the rate of my costume was so low cause I only prepared for 1 ahahaha… ba malay ko ba 1st time ko sumali e….ahahahaha…) Then after that incident, I changed my partner, due to some circumstances and luckily I’m very comfortable dancing with him (dancing soca and rumba with him is like he’s my perfect partner…sa dancing lang po….he’s gay alright…definitely(mas malandi p sya kumilos kesa sa akin (kaloka!)…his name is Rodel (miss dancing with him)…every time were going to dance, most of the time it will only be me and him…alone…on the dance floor…of course I was flattered that time cause everybody is watching me…telling myself that this is my time…my moment to cherish….that we soon ended up thinking of joining the pre-amateur ballroom dancing competition…. Wow, I’ve been dancing for 7 years and this actually has been my life… but so sad to say that, this dream of mine has been buried for the past 6 years of my life.  Never came to that dream of mine, not even close…for I was blinded love and too busy with my relationship with Migui (sobra din kasing seloso e….ahahaha…pampasira talaga ng carreer ang pag-ibig…ahahaha….)Well, this is my 1st reason of depression… If I didn’t focus that much on my relationship, I would have been dancing like 13 years…and it is equivalent to my WHOLE LIFE…from teen to adulthood…gosh…….I missed so much…well, this is one of my frustrations in life that has been haunting me and will be haunting me now until forever…..Now, I’m already 26 and still wishing and hoping that someday I can compete internationally in ballroom dancing. I hope that this is not yet the end for me to achieve this goal…….UNLESS MAY TUTUTOL AT HINDI PAPAYAG…..ampucha talaga…….ahahahahahaha………..